Children of the République – 01 – De l’autre côté du miroir

J’ai rampé. Epuisé. Lessivé. J’ai rampé jusqu’à mon lit en espérant trouver dans les bras de mon compagnon, une chaleur réconfortante. Je me suis glissé sous les couvertures et me suis lové contre son corps. Il était cinq heures du matin et je venais d’assister à la défaite du bon sens : Un fasciste à la… Read more »

Children of the République – 01- If you don’t see them, they don’t see you

I crawled. Exhausted. Devastated. Back to bed… It was five in the morning and I snuggled against my partner, hoping his warmth would ease the pain. I had just watched something I couldn’t fathom: the orange muppet I had been rolling my eyes at for the most part of a year had just been elected… Read more »

42 – October 2013

Snoozing was just not going to cut it anymore, I would have to open my eyes and face the harsh reality of another day. As I was lying there, unwilling, I saw my entire day flashing before my eyes. I knew what every single minute of the day was going to be like. I would… Read more »

The Gospel of Jerome – Realization 1:2

‘There are two kinds of people in the world’ is a phrase I’ve been hearing a lot lately, a phrase thrown every which way to express one’s perspective on the world and which is often misused if not misguided. But there are, indeed, two types of people in the world: those who have had children… Read more »

The Gospel of Jerome – Realization 1:1

When we look at someone we jump at a particular set of conclusions and I, narrow-minded pretentious know-it-all, do very much the same as everyone else: I judge people. I judge people on appearances, on the clothes on their back and on their grooming habits. When I see a muscular man whose tight-fitting tank top… Read more »

Happy Ending 3:3 – The Wedding – September 2013

I would have never believed that when I welcomed 2013 in the misty miserableness of gloom galore, I would be standing where I am right now. My hands are sweating, I can barely breathe. I keep looking at my mum; she is tearing up and is trying her best to compose herself. She is the… Read more »

Manners Quest – June 2013

As the train entered the station, I got up, knowing fully what was to happen next. But this time I wasn’t having any of it. This time I was ready, ready to stand up for what was right, ready to fight for peace and order, for decency, for queen and country; ready – I tell… Read more »

Amour à la French – February 2013

L’amour… This je-ne-sais-quoi that brings joie de vivre and raison d’être ; an oeuvre of lèse majesté against reason, a collage of cliché, a nuance palette, par excellence, of avant-garde romanticism. When a bel esprit starts to gaffe, to volte-face, cherchez la femme! On meeting la jolie au courant in her bouffant beige blouson and béret,… Read more »

Fiches de Lecture – Nouveaux Auteurs

  Voici les deux critiques que j’ai reçu du comité de lecture des Nouveaux Auteurs pour le Prix du Premier Roman d’Yann Queffelec pour mon roman intitulé Je pardonne à l’enfant. Note global: 7.75 Fiche de Lecture numéro 1  Son résumé: Une famille qui paraît « banale » dans une campagne « banale » et… Read more »

The End is Nigh 1:2 – November 2012

Blacking out is, to some, a rite of passage that turns a boy into a man. I’ve never been a heavy drinker, never finding binging that appealing to start with but rites of passage are what they are and you cannot escape them. I remember an American blockbuster, The Hangover, where a bachelor party wakes… Read more »

Summer trilogy – The Night Before… 2:3 – August 2012

It’s been three days since the intervention during which my friends took over my life and decided to get me laid against my will. Pride is in full swing. There isn’t a single corner of the city left to the breeders; I wonder where they’ve gone. My living room has become the HQ of operations…. Read more »

No tienes abuela! – May 2012

One of my neighbour is a dear old lady of 86; born in Seville, she moved to Madrid at the sweet and tender age of 17 (filled with dreams of the big city, imagining she would wear fancy dresses and go to balls) to be with her husband (a man ten years her elder) and… Read more »

GULAg – The unforseen episode

The writing team behind this early Easter Special would like to point out that this episode was supposed to air at Christmas time as part of an effort to bring everyone’s Christmas spirit to an all-time low. However, their main character felt that hope (a word we write with spite) was still a viable option… Read more »

What a drag (Pun intended) – Jan 2010

Sex deprived due to a selfish Papa Noel who kept my present (A 6 ft tall Dutchman) to himself and gloomy at the thought of having only two years left to live (Haven’t you seen 2012?) I welcomed 2010 in pyjamas on my balcony; looking at drunken Spaniards stuffing their faces with grapes. Standing there,… Read more »

Epilogue

J’étais bien au chaud. Confortablement installé, j’avais tout ce que l’on peut rêver et ne désirais rien de plus au monde que de rester là. Là où le monde ne me voyait pas. Où je n’étais qu’un concept, qu’une idée encore, pas très tangible. Je restais sans bouger, me balançant de droite à gauche. Nage… Read more »

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    Last Chance Saloon- Feb 2010

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    Chérie Bakewell – my drag queen alter ego – had to hang up her hat, well her feathers. She presented herself, hair all done up, armpits and legs waxed and impeccable make-up in a (undisclosed price) gown only to be publicly humiliated before being unceremoniously thrown out from all the drag clubs in Madrid. My… Read more »

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    All I want for Christmas is a Vicking – Dec 2009

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    As I hugged Raisa for the very last time – My blond Finnish (oxymoron) friend whom had introduced me to the ever expanding population of hot Vikings in the city and forever changed my taste in men – I knew. I knew I was in for a dreary winter. How was I going to get… Read more »

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    See ya at Obama’s crack – Nov 2009

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    Obama’s won the Nobel Prize for peace and all I can think about is that I won’t be able to stare at his butt anymore. Let me explain myself! Apart from being a great little hang­-out with decently priced beer and some great music, Polyester, a tiny forgotten bar on Traversia de San Mateo, also… Read more »

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    Acting on impulse – Oct 2009

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    Any minutes now, I’m going to be told to make my way to gate C44. I can already see people, grinning and holding tight to their passports and boarding passes, trying unsuccessfully to form a linear queue. Unable to bear the heat anymore, I’d booked myself on a cheap flight to colder realms. After having… Read more »

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    I’m not Proud – Aug 2009

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    The streets filled with over 2 millions of identical gays started to do my head in after the original buzz faded. The amazing drag-queen shows of the LL stage and all the other diverse performances sprayed across Chueca – with the noticeable appearance of Soraya, who sang her Eurovision hit “La noche es para mi”… Read more »

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    Saving time – July 2009

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    Taxes have gone up again on cigarettes and so, for the second time this year, I looked at my tobacconist with shock and horror when she told me the new price of my old addiction. My mouth, ajar with astonishment, was unable to protest but my mind was racing. Giving up was not an option…. Read more »

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    Dirty Fun – June 2009

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    I know what’s on everyone’s mind. It’s not the economical crisis that makes us hold to our jobs for dear life or even the ever-expanding Swine flu pandemic but truly where to locate our favourite columnist – namely yours faithful – on Thursday nights. Well, the time has come… and the answer is (drum rolls):… Read more »

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    Rocky Path – May 2009

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    Going up the escalator at Ciudad Universitaria, I noticed two studs making out a few steps up from me. Their slurping, making the disapproving crowd going down quite uncomfortable (still? seriously?), bothered me too… I was…well… fine, I’ll say it: I was jealous! Why isn’t anyone kissing me? Boo hoo… In need of a pick… Read more »

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    Freeze Company – March 2009

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    Botellóns are such Spanish oddities that no other languages have a word for it. I admit that gatherings on random street corners to drink oneself silly is a wonderful tradition not to mention a cheap way to spend your Saturday nights when the end of the month is looming but they don’t make the best… Read more »

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    The interested ones – Jan 2009

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    I’m not one to judge (well!). Surely “Love” must be out there… somewhere. But (I like my buts) when a paperless, financially unstable cutie supposedly fell in love with my overweight, redneck flatmate, I got suspicious. Exactly what is a 26-year-old sexy Latino doing with a barely legal gringo fresh out of Alabama? I have… Read more »

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    P.C. Politically Cultured – Bonus Dec 2008

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    I woke up with a migraine, as of late, I’d got used to starting the day with an Ibuprofen. I switched on my computer. O had been elected. Coffee downed, cigarette smoked, I left for work with a new spring in my step. The phone stopped my humming; it was F.H “Did you hear? It’s… Read more »

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    Enough or too much – Nov 2008

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    After leaving the cinema, on my way to get some more cocktails, my friend whom I’ll call F.H. told me that I, and it stopped me in my tracks, wasn’t gay enough. I turned around, baffled. All because I didn’t cry when Carrie (Bradshaw from Sex and the City – the movie) received a Vivienne… Read more »